THE MISCARRAGE

…”A miscarriage is the loss of a baby before the 20th week of pregnancy.

According to the March of Dimes, as many as 50% of all pregnancies end in miscarriage -- most often before a woman misses a menstrual period or even knows she is pregnant. About 15% of recognized pregnancies will end in a miscarriage.

More than 80% of miscarriages occur within the first three months of pregnancy. They are less likely to occur after 20 weeks' gestation; if they do, they are called late miscarriages.”… [http://www.webmd.com/baby/guide/pregnancy-miscarriage]

…”What causes miscarriage?

We don’t understand all the causes of miscarriage. Possible causes include:

Chromosome problems. This is the cause of more than half of miscarriages that happen in the first trimester. Chromosomes are tiny, thread-like structures in cells that carry our genes. Each person has 23 pairs of chromosomes (46 in all). One chromosome in each pair comes from the mother, and the other comes from the father. Most chromosome problems happen when an egg or sperm cell has too many or too few chromosomes. Pregnancy happens when a man’s sperm fertilizes a woman’s egg. If either has the wrong number of chromosomes, miscarriage may happen.

Blighted ovum. This is when a fertilized egg implants in the uterus but doesn’t develop into a baby. This is sometimes caused by chromosome problems. In early pregnancy, the woman may notice that her pregnancy symptoms have stopped, and she may have dark-brown vaginal bleeding.

[http://www.marchofdimes.org/loss/miscarriage.aspx]

There is enough clinical data to research about a miscarriage to look for, but I want to talk about mine. This is a very personal experience to each and every woman, but as individual as finger prints. There were times I would dream about my baby and wonder what she would be like in the present. I knew I did nothing wrong during the pregnancy but I had to reason with the loss.

I was ‘spotting’ this day so I ‘dressed’ myself with the usual ‘packing’ material, but this day it was different. I kept changing more often than usual which made me very concerned. I felt something warm like those blood clots I used get as a teenager. When I went to change, here it was sitting on my pad, a little creature. I was curious, so I paused for a moment to analyze, yep it was taking form. It had a head and arms forming. I just sat there in amazement looking. I soon disposed of the specimen, cleaned up, feed the other child and went to bed.

…Side note: I was Biology major in college and working with specimens was a norm for me.

I could not sleep well that night because the little creature haunted me. I prayed about and decided to give it a name, Jessica. Her name is Jessica, growing up with all brothers and mostly male cousins; I felt it was a girl, my little angel Jessica. After a few years I stopped dreaming about a little girl and decided that she was brought in my world to prepare my body for the next baby.

Sometimes we just don’t know what God has in store for us, but what I do know we are no mistakes, none of us.

The days in your life are numbered before you leave heaven to be with your parents. Some people live to be 70, 80,90, 100 and some a few days, weeks, hours minutes old. 

Love you little Miss Jessica Chelsea

…Pandora