THE MISCARRAGE

…”A miscarriage is the loss of a baby before the 20th week of pregnancy.

According to the March of Dimes, as many as 50% of all pregnancies end in miscarriage -- most often before a woman misses a menstrual period or even knows she is pregnant. About 15% of recognized pregnancies will end in a miscarriage.

More than 80% of miscarriages occur within the first three months of pregnancy. They are less likely to occur after 20 weeks' gestation; if they do, they are called late miscarriages.”… [http://www.webmd.com/baby/guide/pregnancy-miscarriage]

…”What causes miscarriage?

We don’t understand all the causes of miscarriage. Possible causes include:

Chromosome problems. This is the cause of more than half of miscarriages that happen in the first trimester. Chromosomes are tiny, thread-like structures in cells that carry our genes. Each person has 23 pairs of chromosomes (46 in all). One chromosome in each pair comes from the mother, and the other comes from the father. Most chromosome problems happen when an egg or sperm cell has too many or too few chromosomes. Pregnancy happens when a man’s sperm fertilizes a woman’s egg. If either has the wrong number of chromosomes, miscarriage may happen.

Blighted ovum. This is when a fertilized egg implants in the uterus but doesn’t develop into a baby. This is sometimes caused by chromosome problems. In early pregnancy, the woman may notice that her pregnancy symptoms have stopped, and she may have dark-brown vaginal bleeding.

[http://www.marchofdimes.org/loss/miscarriage.aspx]

There is enough clinical data to research about a miscarriage to look for, but I want to talk about mine. This is a very personal experience to each and every woman, but as individual as finger prints. There were times I would dream about my baby and wonder what she would be like in the present. I knew I did nothing wrong during the pregnancy but I had to reason with the loss.

I was ‘spotting’ this day so I ‘dressed’ myself with the usual ‘packing’ material, but this day it was different. I kept changing more often than usual which made me very concerned. I felt something warm like those blood clots I used get as a teenager. When I went to change, here it was sitting on my pad, a little creature. I was curious, so I paused for a moment to analyze, yep it was taking form. It had a head and arms forming. I just sat there in amazement looking. I soon disposed of the specimen, cleaned up, feed the other child and went to bed.

…Side note: I was Biology major in college and working with specimens was a norm for me.

I could not sleep well that night because the little creature haunted me. I prayed about and decided to give it a name, Jessica. Her name is Jessica, growing up with all brothers and mostly male cousins; I felt it was a girl, my little angel Jessica. After a few years I stopped dreaming about a little girl and decided that she was brought in my world to prepare my body for the next baby.

Sometimes we just don’t know what God has in store for us, but what I do know we are no mistakes, none of us.

The days in your life are numbered before you leave heaven to be with your parents. Some people live to be 70, 80,90, 100 and some a few days, weeks, hours minutes old. 

Love you little Miss Jessica Chelsea

…Pandora

  

"I GOT YOU"!

 Man: God, can I ask You a question?  

God: Sure
Man: Promise You won't get mad …
God: I promise
Man: Why did You let so much stuff happen to me today?
God: What do you mean?
Man: Well, I woke up late
God: Yes
Man: My car took forever to start
God: Okay
Man: At lunch they made my sandwich wrong & I had to wait
God: Hmm
Man: On the way home, my phone went DEAD, just as I picked up a call
God: All right
Man: And on top of it all, when I got home I just wanted to soak my feet in my new foot massager & relax. BUT it wouldn't work!!! Nothing went right today! Why did You do that?
God: Let me see, the death angel was at your bed this morning & I had to send one of My Angels to battle him for your life. I let you sleep through that .
Man (humbled): OH
GOD: I didn't let your car start because there was a drunk driver on your route that would have hit you if you were on the road.
Man: (ashamed)
God: The first person who made your sandwich today was sick & I didn't want you to catch what they have, I knew you couldn't afford to miss work.
Man (embarrassed): Okay
God: Your phone went dead because the person that was calling was going to give false witness about what you said on that call, I didn't even let you talk to them so you would be covered.
Man (softly): I see God
God: Oh and that foot massager, it had a shortage that was going to throw out all of the power in your housetonight. I didn't think you wanted to be in the dark.
Man: I'm Sorry God
God: Don't be sorry, just learn to Trust Me…. in All things, the Good & the bad.
Man: I will trust You.
God: And don't doubt that My plan for your day is Always Better than your plan.
Man: I won't God. And let me just tell you God, Thank You for Everything today.
God: You're welcome child. It was just another day being your God and looking after My Children…To the reader:   
I'm sorry to disturb you! My name is God. You hardly have time for me. I love you and always bless you. I am always with you. I need you to spend 30 minutes of your time with Me today. Don't pray. Just chat. Today I want this message across the world before midnight. Will you help?
Please do not ignore it and I'll help you with something that you are in need of. Just dare Me! A blessing is coming your way. Please drop everything & pass it on.Tomorrow will be the Best Day of your Life.

Thank you

TINA

We were “Junior Ushers” once per month on Sundays in our church in 1973. We wore nurse uniforms equipped with the old fashion white dress, white shoes, stockings, and that funny shaped starched white envelope looking hat. The week before I would have to make sure my shoes were polished white , buffed , and there were no “runs” in my stockings (pantyhose).  Every Sunday when it was the youth turn to usher we would pair up and walk up and down the aisles of the church escorting visitors and members to their seats.

Tina was not a “chatty” type of person and neither was I. After morning service we would go next door to the local candy store and purchase a bag of chips or something, return to the church, sit in the back and people watch. I found this a small sense of duty in the church that I was proud of and was able to carry out.

I noticed Tina was not in service a few times and I hoped her parents did not move away or she went away or something, but I started missing my “bobsy twin”. I believed we walked in unison and maybe tried to wear our hair styles similar. I was an only girl in my family growing up so I would have close friends that I got along with time to time. So when Tina was gone I did miss her.

One Sunday Tina came back to church and I was happy to see and wanted to know where and what happened! She started laughing and showed me a book. It was a “Learn to Sign” book. To my surprise, confusion and amazement she was deaf all along. This is the reason I believe we go along so well, she didn’t heat a word I was saying. She was an excellent lip reader and would laugh at my silly jokes.

We would try to study the book together maybe so I could learn to sign, but she would eventually go away to school.

A few years later I ran into Tina, we both got married and each had one son. Her mother explained to me that she had a red light in her home when the doorbell rang. I was introduced to the TTY telephone operator and tried a few times to use this method of communication but I had missed sitting and giggling with my friend. We tried to write a few times but as usual life happens and we lost touch.

I thought about her the other day when I saw two little girls having trying to communicate with one hearing impaired and the other speaking.  I pray Tina is a happy grandmother like myself “spoiling” the grand babies.

…Pandora

#IRONY

IRONY:

 (1) :  incongruity between the actual result of a sequence of events and the normal or expected result (2) :  an event or result marked by such incongruity

b :  incongruity between a situation developed in a drama and the accompanying words or actions that is understood by the audience but not by the characters in the play —called also dramatic irony, tragic irony The United States of America is united because of a series of events, not one was welcomed at first with opened arms.

Today the interpretation of the civil war battle cry flag will be “put down”, laid to rest, and retired.

The “Stars and Bars” was a symbol of a southern pride that was shared by white people only. Their ancestor who fought and died in the United States Civil war [1861-1865] is a remembrance of this part of their family’s history. I would imagine it would bring great pride to know there was a general back in the family somewhere who fought for what they believed.

On the other hand there are more people who ancestors that fought on the other side and too had loss resulting from this war. This would be the end of this story except the war was about slavery and the degradation of another human. The propaganda of white supremacy and subhuman of the Africans and Native Americans is what fueled this war. There was nothing to celebrate for this time in America’s history. [EVER]

Racism in America is her nasty mole on her nose that cannot be “powered” with make-up.

We in America have an African-American President who called for an end to this blatant display of racism and a Native-American descent governor of South Carolina who signed the order to take down the “Battle cry of the Confederate”.

To quote Rev. Jesse Jackson “Keep hope alive”…

Looking forward to my nation growing up!

…Pandora

Charleston In Mourning

I wish to extend my condolences to the families of the unfortunate act of violence that once again have ripped through a community.

The Emmanuel African Methodic Episcopal  110 Calhoun St, Charleston, SC 29401 is in mourning, the community of Charleston is in mourning.

The Rev. Clementa Pinckney, 41: A state senator and the senior pastor of Emanuel, he was married to Jennifer Benjamin and the father of two children, Eliana and Malana. Cynthia Hurd, 54: According to the Charleston County Public Library, she was a 31-year employee who managed the John L. Dart Library for 21 years before heading the St. Andrews Regional Library. The Rev. Sharonda Coleman-Singleton, 45: A pastor at Emanuel, she was also a speech therapist and high school girls track and field coach, both positions at Goose Creek High School. Tywanza Sanders, 26: He was a 2014 graduate in business administration from Allen University in Columbia. Ethel Lance, 70: She had attended Emanuel for most of her life and worked there as a custodian, as well. From 1968 to 2002, she worked as a custodian at Charleston's Gaillard Municipal Auditorium.  Susie Jackson, 87. Depayne Middleton Doctor, 49: The mother of four sang in Emanuel's choir. She had previously directed a community development program in Charleston County. Myra Thompson, 59: She was the wife of the Rev. Anthony Thompson, the vicar of Holy Trinity Reformed Episcopal Church in Charleston.  The Rev. Daniel Simmons, 74: Simmons survived the initial attack but then died in a hospital operating room. [http://www.npr.org/sections/thetwo-way/2015/06/18/415539516/the-victims-9-were-slain-at-charlestons-emanuel-ame-church]

To each and every family my prayers and sympathy is extended.

…Pandora

Kalief Browder 1993-2015

Another unfortunate death of a person incarcerated. To have a person sit in custody without a bail is at best criminal to say the least. The court system in New York State is itself is criminal. I personally have retired from The New York City Department of Correction, and witnessed firsthand the insanity of the court system railroading the poor or disadvantage back and forth between the courts and the jails of New York. My job description was “Care-Custody-Control of the population that was waiting to be sentenced by the New State Court system.

There are laws that state you have to “see” a judge within 24/48 hours. “The right to a speedy…[whatever]. One would see the judge according the law within the prescribed time frame, then sit in DOC custody because you could not make bail, the continuance of a case or remanded [no bail].

I have met people who “work the system”, needing a place to sleep for the winter. There were some who were working their defense and were housed in the Mental Observation unit whether or not they needed to be it was our job to be fair and protect them. The Mental Health System in New York fails miserably to the point the mentally ill know enough seek shelter and getting locked up for the winter is the only option.  One would see the despondent individuals who are clearly depressed longing for their loved ones that were arrested for arguing with law enforcement, go to court, and then the judge gives them some outrages bail amount that the family cannot afford to pay.

I have worked with the adolescents who I found very heart breaking to see young people who are and look very lost. Don’t get me wrong children will be children and can be trying at times. I had adolescents at home as well as work, I never got a brake [for a few years anyway]. As a parent, I could not help but to feel compassion for these young adults and had a watchful eye on my coworkers who may have lost patience with them. One of the ways to keep the young men in check was to distract them with “drop down and give me 50”! They knew it was give 50 pushups or face the unknown. There was nothing to the “unknown” they didn’t know it, but it worked every time.

I did not know of Kalief Browder, I knew many Kaleif Browders, who were in the “system” and had no business being in there for as long as he was. There is so much one can do if there is a court ordered, remand custody.  My father had an outrages bail amount when a white man called him a nigger then my father punched him in his mouth.

The New York State Court system keeps blood on its hands.

…Pandora

ANDROID WHAT'S GOING ON?

So  this is what gets me out of "retirement" For a few days there has been an interruption in service from AT&T due to fact there is a problem stemming from ANDROID operating system!!!
What can be going on that "they" will not tell us humans? I personally cannot send a text with a picture without the message "No signal for your connection, Please try again later"! What? I called my carrier to find out if I had a defective device or my service was interrupted [happens rarely] I was informed ANDROID was to blame...now what? Whow do I scream at in the ANDROID nation?
I think "they made a deal with the devil, and APPLE will be on the rise again.


&^%*#@
...Pandora